Wednesday, 24 October 2007
i've realised that reading other people's blogs can be enriching and encouraging, as long as one reads the right blogs. my friends are going through trials and tribulations, yet they draw strength from Him, and as they remind themselves, i'm reminded as well, of how central our God should be in our lives. i see miracles happen everyday, yet i still do not trust God for even the simple things in life. sometimes i just have to jolt myself into my senses, to realise things which i knew all along but never internalised. it's a constant struggle yet an overwhelming joy to be able to serve the Lord. every moment i struggle with my human desires and weaknesses, but it is Him who brings me through everything. so i can thank Him for every day that He brings me through. not by my own strength, but by His.
why do i get irritated when people shoot arrow after arrow at me? when people pile expectations on me, when i set expectations for myself, and i don't meet them? why do i get angry when people chase me for things i haven't done? why do i feel uncomfortable when people ask me or tell me to do things which i know i should do but did not/have not done? is it because my heart is set on the wrong things? why do i do what i do? for my own selfish gain? that people may see and say "he's doing a lot of things"? do i have the integrity to do the right things even when no one is there to see me do it? isn't it God whom i serve? isn't He the One whom i live for? i should know that God sees my every action, knows my every thought, hears my every word. do i serve man or God? when i come to the judgement table of God, what will He say to me? "away from me, i never knew you"?
what do i want? riches? prosperity? health? the 5Cs? popularity? success? or to see God's name glorified in everything i do, every word i say? humility is such an easy word to say but such a hard thing to do/achieve. how do i react when people criticise me? my every word and action can affect what people think of me and of my God. "aiyo, i thought he's Christian, how come like that one ar?", "oh, so Christian can like that one ah".
Lord, i pray for the right attitude in everything i think, do and say. i pray for strength to go through the spiritual warfare of every day. i pray for the joy and peace that can only come from You. i pray that i can be a good testimony to the people around me. i pray that my heart will always be set right before You. i pray that i will not rely on my own strength, but by Yours. i pray for humility and wisdom. i pray for my brothers and sisters-in-Christ, that they may be blessed by You, just as You have blessed me.
giving thanks at 13:45 :)
david chow en yuan